tales from the camión

i left my house at 7am with what should have been plenty of time to make it to tapo to catch my bus to oaxaca which was scheduled to leave at 9am. it was still dark when i left, however that didn't mean that the bus from my community to el centro would be any less full. i hopped on the bus with my little rolling suitcase, messenger back and travel mug full of earl grey only to find that i was the first unlucky person of the morning. every seat was full which meant i had to juggle all of my things and head to the back of the bus for a bumpy and frustrating ride. fifteen minutes in i was dripping sweat, cursing my need for caffeine as i struggled to keep vertical with only one hand holding on to the bar and my bag had tipped over hitting a lady in the leg, gaining a dirty look from that mujer and was now being graciously held onto by the man in the seat in front of me, the man in which i was ungodly close to.

the bus was stuffed and forty-five minutes later i was still standing but now sausaged in between students in their school uniforms, men in business suits and dealing with a major case motion sickness. when a seat finally opened up at the very back i threw my jacket that i had somehow wiggled out of whilst extreme sweating as if to claim my territory. i wobbly waddled over to the spot and put down my messenger bag and then waddled back for my suitcase thanking the man who was still holding on to it for me. finally, i sat and a seat on the bus never felt so good! until, a very large man in a suit and tie and the hairiest fingers i have ever seen, who had been eyeing me for the last half hour claimed the seat next to me that had also opened up. he wedged himself in taking up his seat and half of mine.

he was already awfully close, so close in fact that at one point i thought, "is this dude, smelling my hair...creepy?!" but no, he was not, instead dude let a huge snore. he was sleeping and every time he would fall asleep his large hairy hand would slowly start slipping from the bar on the seat in front of him and is it would, he would slowly start leaning over on to me until he would wake up with a start and wrap his chubby fingers around the bar once more. i wasn't the only one who noticed and the young guy on my other side moved a little bit over so that i could get out of harm's way but for every scoot to the right i made, big man just fell a little bit more to the right as well until finally more of his weight than i could handle caused me to literally yelp. and that's when the guy next to me and i looked at each other and lost it laughing. and i looked at him, "like is this not the most ridiculous situation ever?" and he looked back at me, "like yes, yes it is the really freaking ridiculous, except when i tell this story and i definitely will, my rendition will include not only a huge, snoring man but also a strange little yelping white girl on a two hour bus ride in which i have never seen a foreigner before."

the large man eventually woke up and got off...two hours after i first got on, so did i, but not before my bus to oaxaca had already left the station.